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Today I'm Sassy As Hell & I'm Going To Tell You Why.

i’m writing this post-afternoon-16oz.-work-beer, so let’s just say life isn’t so bad.

and i keep writing sentences to start this post and then find myself holding down the delete button. i don’t want to complain. i really don’t have a right to. nothing is THAT bad. 

yeah, my foot hurts. yeah, i found out the “mass” or “thing” or whatever in my foot that started this whole crisis isn’t actually a mass at all. it’s just a super upset joint that’s swollen and receiving the brunt of this ra. it’s like the tiniest joint in my body (not really but, honestly, its a knuckle in my foot) that chose to get attacked first. and yeah, it’s probably going to be that way forever (if not worse, because there’s nothing to “get rid of” or “take out” now that we know this). fine. 



The Fear Project

I still keep in touch with one of my college professors. Julie Elman draws peoples fears and this week, she drew mine.

Here’s what she has to say about my fear and fears in general:

The Fear Project :: What’s Ahead WIth Rheumatoid Arthritis

Catherine, 26, was diagnosed with RA last year. She wrote a lot about what it’s been like to live with this disease, but I was only able to include a fraction of what she expressed here. There are so many unknowns for Catherine, a yoga teacher, writes, “I’ve actually come to terms with everything a lot better than I expected.”

About Julie's Fear Project: 


Admit it. You’re afraid. Very afraid. Of something. Spiders, perhaps? Getting a root canal at the dentist? The stranger out there who will kidnap your kids?

I illustrate people’s fears. Working with their words, I just try to visualize what those fears could possibly look like. I work quickly and post my pieces no matter how I feel about them. It’s a good way to get over any fears I have about the creative process.

Fear not, I keep telling myself. Fear not.

— Julie M. Elman

Got fear? Send it: fearproject (at) gmail (dot) com”



Yoga, RA & All Its Phases

this month i’ve put a lot of thought and effort into looking at my yoga practice, taking inventory of what poses are making me feel stronger and those that i’ve just been pushing myself through. 

i’ve always been the “super flexible” one that gets cast into the “she can do any yoga pose she tries” category… well, wrong. if you know yoga well, you know that often times the most flexible students are those that have to work the hardest at backing off so we don’t injure ourselves (especially our lower backs). on the other hand, we often have the continuous challenge of finding the sensation in a pose that others feel often and easily. i’ve gotten pretty good at the later, but to be honest, i was never one to pull back, even amid lower back pain… until now.

as a “type a” yogi, this is all easier said than done. since i’ve been diagnosed with ra and the pain in my hands and feet have almost ceased completely, i have made some specific alterations to my practice: